You're totally ripping off me. Can you get your own typing style or whatever-you-call-that cuz it's really annoying? Fuck copycats. Where's your sense of originality!!

Labels: Serious Ramblings

I'm getting bored with blogger (again), so I might be switching to my livejournal one.

Here're pics of Vanessa and I camwhoring in the toilet:






Work was good for once 'cuz there weren't much people. Lai and I spent the whole night laughing like insane buffoons. We bluffed the kitchen dudes that we could lick our elbows and told them to try and they tried for so long, it made us laugh sooooo hard. After work, I went to SuperCue to meet up my parents and brother for some pool.


On the bus to SuperCue, I was wondering about how different things would be. I miss you. I really do. I'm waiting 'cuz you always come back. I think of all the "what-ifs" and everything people have been telling me about. Then I remembered something you said, and suddenly it's all clear. Maybe it's time for me to let go. But I can't, until you tell me so.

Labels: Random Musings, Serious Ramblings

I'm feeling so tired and grumpy (for no apparent reason) now. I fell asleep on dad's car earlier, it was so comfortable I didn't wanna get off. I wanna go home. Argh! Oh well, at least I have the homemade sandwiches Lai made to look forward to.

Chilling session with Lai, Joanne and Kel after school.

I'm not feeling too well. Guess it's the sambal stingray I had for dinner yesterday.

Labels: Serious Ramblings

I need to declutter my thoughts.
If only there was a "reverse" card.

Now I feel so much pain, as exposed as a raw wound. As though someone would come anytime and pour salt onto it or cut it deeper. I need to make sure I can handle a bad day myself, just in case anything crappy happens at least I know I can manage.

Sometimes I find myself breathing so hard as if there were no oxygen. I need to locate my faith. I feel so messed-up. Every now and then, I choose to be silent because I'm thinking of the possible ways I could have done things instead. Yet I make things worser than it originally was.

Labels: Serious Ramblings

Tis' taken at Cheers yesterday while Lev was buying liquor o.0

Omg so tired. Work was a killer and it's so much worse than volleyball trainings. My back had this major cramp, so did my thighs and shoulders. Oh just everywhere. I think I deserve a higher pay. Besides, it's the eve of Hari Raya!

I just discovered this tiny mole near my left shoulder. That was bloody random.

/
Maryjane makes my life miserable.
I've got tonnes to say to you.
Then again, you don't give a sh*t.

You were right, I should've listened.
You just needed someone to talk to. Anyone.
When all you really wanted was her. And I, you.

Labels: Random Musings, Serious Ramblings

I am outside,
And I've been waiting for the sun.
With my wide eyes,
I've seen worlds that don't belong.

My mouth is dry,
With words I cannot verbalize.
Tell me why,
We live like this.

Keep me safe inside,
Your arms like towers.
Tower over me, yeah.

'Cause we are broken.
What must we do to restore,
Our innocence,
And all the promise we adored?
Give us life again,
Cause we just wanna be whole.

Lock the doors,
'Cause I'd like to capture this voice.
It came to me tonight,
So everyone will have a choice.

And under red lights,
I'll show myself it wasn't forged.
We're at war,
We live like this...

Keep me safe inside,
Your arms like towers.
Tower over me.

'Cause we are broken.
What must we do to restore,
Our innocence,
And all the promise we adored?
Give us life again,
'Cause we just wanna be whole.


Tower over me...
Tower over me...

And I'll take the truth at any cost.

'Cause we are broken.
What must we do to restore,
Our innocence,
And all the promise we adored?
Give us life again,
'Cause we just wanna be whole.

Labels: Lyrics, Serious Ramblings

Yesterday's MAOs gathering was one of the (al)most complete one. Albeit the short 3 hours, I had tonnes of fun with them, just stuffing ourselves silly with the BBQ stingray, went zonkers at the park, headed to Pat's house for teevee and camwhoring sessions. I'm so so so glad that we could pick things up the way we left them. I love to hear you girls laugh, it really brightens my day. The lame "whale in my stomach" thing could keep them laughing non-stop and the best thing is that, none of us has changed at all.










If CC was around, I bet we'd really go insane laughing and eating yucky concoctions made by her. Please take care of yourself and stop fainting okay! ♥





I miss 4-1: MAOs/ Naf/ Atiq/ Fat/ Tengy/ Liana/ Naqiah/ Chai Luan/ Levin/ Jerm/ Hong Ming/ Noel/ Saravanabavan Karthik/ Sampan boy ):/ Azizan/ Amirul


Just everyone, really.




I miss W35M. We are so unbelievably closely bonded together, I thought I would just die when we had to separate.

Ping ping ping, this is for you. Cheer up okay! Everything will be fine, really. It's just like the beginning of Sem 1 when you said you wanted to withdraw, but you didn't! I'll always be here to listen to your whines. If not, you can find me at Akira! So near your house! ;P

I miss Mayce, Melina, Andy, Alena, Yuling, Yiling, Lewis, Hui Ting, Kee Kai and everyone in E212. You guys are always in my heart even though I'm not in CHC anymore.



I'm so frustrated I need someone to remedy this. I wanna hear your voice and talk into the wee hours and fall in love all over again. I want to have Wild Turkey and go tipsy. I want to do so many things with you. You make my heart go giddy-up. You make butterflies in my stomach. You make me tongue-tied. I (still) love you.

P.S/ I got my first A (for this semester) ever for my computing module.
P.P.S/ I hate that you still talk to me like I'm an insensible child. That I don't know what to do at the right time. I really hate it. Shut up.

Labels: Serious Ramblings

Acoustic with Penny Gun/ Library @ Orchard


"And the guy on my left, I mean girl. No. Guy. He's Kelvin." That was classic man! Hahaha!
Kel the lead guitarist!


David Mars(?), the lead singer.


I forgot this dude's name. He's the bassist.


Their band was really good, the vocals were great. Kel was awesome man, he stole the whole show (I think). Haha! Especially loved their rendition of Creep. It was really awesome man, the only bummer was that the audience were quite passive and there was this old dude sitting there. Hahaha! That was really cute. And, their drummer was missing cuz he was betting on horses. Wth?


After that, we had lunch with Kel and Yukiko at Pepper Lunch.





After we sent Joanne to her workplace, Lai and I left for work while Kel and Yukiko went to have ice cream. Dad and Mom popped by for a surprise visit during work. Then, trouble happened. I was collecting the handrolls from the sushi bar, and Dad was talking to Boss there. I didn't pay attention and the handrolls fell onto the carpet floor. Immediately, all three of them (the Boss, the wife, the son) all said "It's ok! Nevermind." Walao, so fake please. If Dad wasn't there and this happened.. I'll definitely be given a dressing down sprinkled with tonnes of hokkien vulgarities. They are so disgusting. Ugh.

Then there was this part time dude in the kitchen cuz Monkey took leave. He's gross too. He keeps flirting with Pei Si and her, being the silly girl, kept talking to him. Zzz. He's another idiot who thinks I'm cheena. Walao.

Mom saved some of her Unagi set for me, so I went behind the kitchen to eat. Then that part time dude was there, all touchy-feely with some girl (who does not work in the restaurant). Wtf. I just treated them as invisible and ate my food with Lai, then he asked me, "Where you get this from?" None of your business anyway anyhow, you repulsive moron.

Alright, enough of work.



/Went to Cityhall with Lai to meet up with Joanne, then to Esplanade to meet Kel and WZ.
/Played with candles. Zzzz
/Kel scared me out of my wits when they were at the toilet. @#$%^&*! Stupid Kel!
/Walked from Esplanade to the Fullerton to Peninsular to ROM area to Clarke Quay/MOS to Central. I almost died.
/Saw people getting dead drunk outside MOS.
/We sat by the river outside Central until morning.
/Breakfast at Liang Court Mac's.
/Kel and I cabbed home separately, while Lai, Jo and WZ took the train.





Reached home, bathed and plonked onto my bed for barely 6 hours before I woke up and I'm still really really beat. Think I'll sleep real early later. Pardon my lousy narration and lack of vocab.

Labels: Daily rubbish, Fun stuff, Serious Ramblings

Migraine. With all the weird sh*t happening to me. My body's messed up. I hope I'd be able to hold up until work ends and I'm so sad I can cry.

Labels: Serious Ramblings

Today was really insane.

#1 My sci module facilitator, Mr. Qian A.K.A Mr. Money left me this comment:

hi Victoria, I also feel accomplished when you feel accomplished, let us accomplish something in every lesson.

Zomgwtfbbq. Damn hilarious lah! Walao, what's with the amount of accomplish(es) man! He's really a funny dude.

#2 I was talking to Lai about something at the Woodlands library, then out of the sudden, this crazy old guy came and said something along the lines of God will help you blah blah blah. Then he went on to talk about his son, Melvin Leok? Zzz. Then he went on to talk about Matthew 7:7, and Psalms and whatever. I feel so humiliated. It's this kind of people who make Christianity out to be a joke. The whole library staff knows about him and says that he's a little outta his mind. Walao. It was really funny but discouraging. Really.

Around 8, WZ and his friend, Leonard came to find us at the library then we fooled around for a while and left.

I miss Yannz, CC, Hanny, Allie, Pat and Hwee a lot. When are we girls gonna meet up? ): MAOs never had a full reunion. I miss 4-1 and W35M and everyoneeeeee. Geez. I gotta stop being so nostalgic, but the old times sure were fun.

It's gonna be the weekends soon! I can't wait for Sat night/Sun wee hours :D

Grandpa and Grandma are leaving for China tomorrow morning and it's till next February that I'll get to see them again. Sigh. I'll miss them terribly. I hope they'd have fun there, with the big condo and the relatives and the friends ): I'm not gonna get used to them being gone so long.

Labels: Daily rubbish, Funny Stuff, Random Musings, Serious Ramblings

Is finding someone who loves you as much as you love him that tough? Is love never lasting? Why does it seem to me that time will always outrun love? Why do people shortchange love from others? I can't seem to hold my head together any longer. It's too much for me to take, and I have to act like nothing's wrong in my life at all. I'm feeling so exhausted, so nauseous. I'm almost revolted by the word "love".

What does it really mean to love? Why do people not think of the consequences of surrending your heart to that certain someone when he happens to be the wrong person all along. Why do we still love when we know it's not being reciprocated? Why can't we think rationally when it comes to love? Why does it seem that we never learn?

When we learn, we grow. Yet, there always seem to be a certain emptyness/hollowness when love isn't around. Is love all we're living for? My eyes burn, my head throbs, my heart aches. It sucks to have this happen once every few days. My being can't hold it any longer. Every part is crumpling into small tiny parts. I'm increasingly irritable and prickly and edgy. I don't like the current person I am the slightest bit. I whine, I complain, I cry, I rant, but why does it seem that nothing's changed at all. I wait -this is the first time I've ever been so patient- but it's taking way too long, and my patience's running out. When I need someone there, no one's there. Why does my life seem so bleak, so laughable...

I ever wondered, ten years down the road, what a person I would be. What kind of life I'd be leading? Would I already forget about my fears? Would I have found my soulmate? Would I still be alive by then? Somehow, I can't picture anything. Nothing at all. What does that mean?

And my supposed best friend seems to have found a new best friend.

Labels: Serious Ramblings

God, I miss the insane times we had during lessons, the chalet, the numerous outings together. From the bottom of my heart, I love all my classmates in W35M. I really do.




Photo taken yesterday.

After school today, went over to W4 to meet Lai and Joanne then over to Food Court A and met up with Kok Beng and Lance. Joen, Jia Yu and Juliana were also there when we reached and all of us lamented about W35M. After that, met up with an online seller then Lai and I headed to Central and we had Pepper Lunch for dinner. We sat by the river with our rapidly-disolving-icecream and I started to get really pissed off when the ice cream dripped all over my jeans and ran down my hands. I sweared until even I finished the ice cream. Geez! Then it was Lai's turn to get annoyed. The ants started to bite her and a cricket hopped onto her feet, she freaked out and screamed. But I loved the scenery there, really nice, pleasant, comfortable, warm. I'll bring Dad's SLR out one day for pretty peektures.

The ones taken with my phone should suffice for now.








After that, both of us just got into a really bad mood 'cuz we nearly got lost and she couldn't find a suitable place to submit her RJ. Before I forget, we bumped into Hong Ming at Funan and he, being the usual ol' perv. told me how cute you-know-who was. Hahaha! After checking out Raffles City and being even more pissed, Lai left home while I, went to Akira to find Dad and Mom came along soon after. Dad was playing dice with Boss, and the loser has to drink. It was rather funny watching them play. Being there and not working is so weird. I love my colleagues there; the kitchen staff and the fellow waitresses. They make me really happy ;D


And today, Xiao Li told me she didn't believe my dad when he said I was his daughter. She thought he was kidding. That'd show you, you *insert appropriate term*. What lah, I really look like cheena meh. Kaozxzxz. She herself is cheena lah. Whatever (rolls eyes).


Yay work tomorrow means $$!


I don't know what's wrong with you. What the fuck did I do huh? This sadness is slowly turning into wrath, and you wouldn't wanna incur mine. Really. You low life.


P.S/ Lee Shi, please cheer up! Just keep trying and never give up a'ights? We know you can do it ;D

Labels: Daily rubbish, Serious Ramblings

Why do I feel so shiteous? Is it just me or everybody? I miss W35M, where I can be so comfortable with everyone, where I can go zonkers and laugh until my guts retch. I think I understand how Marly felt. Ping, I'm feeling the same way you do right now! Just so you know, you're not alone. Thanks to Lai, Joanne and WZ, I could act normally after school. The usual fooling around and laughing at random people on the streets (no ill intentions though). "Under my umbrella, ella, ella, eh, eh, eh, under my ..." Hahahaha! I love you guys.

And now, I don't wanna have anymore feuds/enemies. Enough of them. I wanna be happy, love and be loved. I reckon I'd enough of sadness. I'd like it to go away forever. Please, go away and never come back. Sometimes I don't feel like myself, I didn't remember being so pessimistic. I remember once ago, a long long time ago, I loved people, I loved life, I loved the sun, the rain, the moon, the stars. It's not the same anymore. I'm feeling so down but I can't bring myself to weep and it's choking me. I feel tears wanting to spill, but they don't. They hide behind, somewhere deep within. Sometimes I feel like I've been slapped in the face.

I need someone to talk to before I lose it. I get affected too easily. Most of the time, when I look angry/pissed/serious with my brows furrowed, I'm actually upset. So don't get me wrong, because you don't know me.

Labels: Serious Ramblings

I had an emotional outburst this morning. Simply put, I cried. I didn't know why either, and I still don't. I'm aware of my dependency on people. Guess it's time for me to learn all over again.

Today was surprisingly good. Most of the classmates've started to warm up and it was really fun just bullsh*tting on MSN. After school, I waited for Lai Yan, Cyn, Sam and Lee Shi at the W3/4 area. I saw Cyn a while later and was waiting for her to spot me, but she didn't! When she finally did, she burst out laughing 'cuz I was wearing white and "blended in with the walls". Geez!

The contractions in my uterus was so unbearable that I almost fainted while walking towards Woodlands MRT. The girls said my face/lips were really pale. Luckily for Cyn's panadol, otherwise I would've already died and gone to heaven. Okay, maybe hell.

Anyways, someone (read: old, naggy, irritating person A.K.A Lee Shi) commented that my blog entries are getting shorter and shorter. But who cares right! Hahahahaha! Just some old nosey parker. Kidding.

Note to self:
Mighty Fine tee
White tunic
F21 Dino Tank
57 SGD in total// And maybe that bucket drawstring bag. Oh my...

I love shopping online! ;D

Dinner-time.

Labels: Daily rubbish, Serious Ramblings

I wonder how everyone's day #1 was like.

Mine was really mundane and slow-paced. Any slower, I'd have taken a shot at my temple. At first, I just though I was going to die. And I'm nervous when it comes to meeting new people! @#$%^&*!! So I did, trip over my words a couple o' times. Later in the day, it was going -not really well, but still- okay. The girls in my team even gossipped about who's cute and stuff during the 6P (on MSN), that is.

The good thing is I met up with the clique during both breakouts, and us, being extremely nostalgic, went back to W35M. W35M isn't the same without everyone. Really. But hey, life's full of changes (not hope) and we gotta do what we gotta do! Even though I'm really apprehensive about what's gonna happen tomorrow, it'd just blow over soon. Hey look! *snap!* And Day #1's already ended.

*crosses fingers* I'm just trying to be optimistic when I'm really not.

Whattowear?Whattowear?Whattowear?Whattowear?Whattowear?Whattowear?Whattowear?

Labels: Daily rubbish, Serious Ramblings

Today was one of the bestest day of my 3-week holiday because:
/ I had a really great time out with my parents and Jem.
/ Levin (??) and Hong Ming (???) asked me out for pool siol, but I didn't meet them up
/ I got to catch up with some pals.
/ B&J, Ikoi ♥

It is also the worst day because:
/ It's the last day of my 3 week break
/ New semester (which really means a new class). Boo to that!


I am fucking nervous about tomorrow. What should I wear? Should I smile to everyone and be friendly? Should I this or that or this or that or this....? @#$%^&*!! Okay, chillz Victoria! Man, I sure hope I don't look unfriendly or unapproachable. I think I will update every hour tomorrow. Zomg.

Labels: Serious Ramblings

And you call yourselves my friends. What, friends don't help each other when they're in trouble? Friends don't pull each other back when they're slipping? They let go their hands and allow them fall into the bottomless pit?

Ha, friends. Indeed.

The friendship we've built over the past 10 odd years is nothing; nothing at all. What are friends if they don't care. They shouldn't be called friends, acquaintance is a more appropriate term. And what, I'm coming back to be judged by all of you? To be an outcast? To walk away quietly without any of you noticing? Oh wait, it is like that already isn't it? What a joke.

Why does the word "resent" come to my mind when I think about you?

Labels: Serious Ramblings

Please get your own style, not mine for fuck's sake. I don't know how long I can stand this.

@#$%^&*(!!

Labels: Serious Ramblings

Does anyone have any in this list? Click here to view list! Quote your best price and I'll get back to you!

I'm more than a wee bit disappointed that tomorrow's baking session with Cecilia, Shi Han and Yan Rong's cancelled and... I don't really feel like going back to JSS on Friday. No particular reason.

I'm spending my holidays mindlessly and I hate it.






I think this picture's funny with all the funny hand gestures and look at Sam. Haha!




Ehehehe. Lee Shi, revenge is schweet!

Labels: Daily rubbish, Serious Ramblings, Urgent

I hate you when you dictate me.
I hate you when you don't listen.
I hate you when you're being unreasonable.
I hate you when you're being biased.
I hate you when you make me think I'm never good enough.
I hate you when you say you don't trust me.
I hate you when you don't appreciate me.
I hate you when you disapprove everything that I like/do/say.
I hate you when you make me so frustrated that I pull out my hair.
I hate you when you make me wanna run away.
I hate you when you're insensitive.
I hate you when you say things that make me cry.
I hate you when you rant and rave like an insane person.
I hate you when you always have that look of disdain.
I hate you because you treat us very differently.
I hate you because I don't understand why you can't never see from my point of view.
I hate you because I love you.

Labels: Serious Ramblings