Ah. The glorious smell of home cooked food. I haven't been eating home cooked food for a loooong time. I think I'm crazy to say I miss it, but yeah! I do! (: Mum haven't cooked since she started teaching at JCCK. But soon, I'd be able to eat home cooked food everyday! Cus Ana's (She's my prev maid) coming back what. Heehee. She knows how to cook very well, mum taught her alot of HK dishes and stuff. Yay-ness! I love Ana! I love Mum! Omg.

Blogging 3 posts in a day shows that I'm reeaaaalllyy bored at home. And I shouldn't be at the computer right now. The cpu table poked my eye! But I've got good eyesight. I'm not blind yet! (:


Can I not go tmr? Sigh. Why do I feel like I'm forced to? I have my plans and all. I've got my study plans but you want me to go this and that. I'M TAKING MY O'S THIS YEAR! I need to revise beforehand right? I need to study right? You've gone through your O's too, why don't you understand? Don't huh me. Argh! Frustrations. I don't feel like I belong anymore. I even avoid you people. I don't know what to do when you people call. I'm not obliged to come! I've got my own church y'know? Sometimes I feel that even the leaders don't know how to handle things, they don't know the truth. I feel sad for the thousands of souls that are going down. (Mel, I'm not talking about you guys.)

I wanna rant, but I can't.

I hate and it's hard for me to forgive you.
I knew you for so many years, but this is what I get for trusting you, caring for you, and actually believing that you were my friend. This has been happening since young, I thought you'd change for the better. You didn't. It was a pretence. Hypocrisy. I feel disgusted at the fact that I'm playing this along with you. I feel sick at myself. I never hated you, but I hated your actions, your hypocrisy, your licking-everyone's-butt, your back-stabbing, your jealousy, your wanting to compete with me. I never wanted to. I never thought of bringing you down, but you did. You make me look like a piece of worthless crap in others' eyes. For that, I despise you. Your sly and cunning ways. That knife smeared with poison waiting to stab me behind that smile. Your actions will be exposed one day, you'll get retribution. I believe.

Why compete? Aren't we a family in Christ? So that you can survive in church and the society? It'd get you nowhere, trust me. Because you don't treat people with sincerity, but only to use them when you need them. Lick their boots and let them go against me. I know you too well. Why all this? What's the point of all these? Life was good before I knew you. Jealousy? Envious of me? Because everyone were friends with me and you felt like you wanna be popular? Now you've got it, leave me alone and shut your mouth. I don't have good taste? Look at yourself first. Quit criticizing everything new I've bought.

I don't hate alot of people. Just few. The rest are just 看不顺眼. I love love love people!

God wants me to forgive, but I can't.
A happy post had to turn out this way. I won't trust Taiwanese ever again.